Clue
by Taiya
Summary: Yu-Gi-Oh/LOTR crossover. Kristy decides to throw a party and everyone's invited! But what happens when someone ends up dead? A WHODUNNIT, that's what! *Extreme Frodo/Tea/Enrique/Avril/Tyrel bashing!* PG-13 for language & violence. *CHAPTER 8 UP!!!*
1. The incident O o

Bwahahaha! This is a Yu-Gi-Oh/LOTR crossover version of Clue, the board game. Someone has been murdered... but who is the culprit? Is it Avril, who's manliness is known far and wide? Is it Yugi, the innocent-looking bystander? Could it have been Ryou, who would not have been noticed to to his extreme sexiness? Or maybe it was the Subway Mascot, who could have easily hidden a bow and arrow beneath those two buns and fresh filling! The only way to find out is to read on...   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"You're late!" Frodo exclaimed as Yugi and the rest of the gang stepped in. Yugi blushed. Tea put her hands on her hips.  
  
"Well, Tristen fell down and broke his ass, so we all stopped and used the power of friendship to relieve him of his pain!" There was a silence in the house as soon as she announced this.  
  
"Ouch," Tristen said, limping in. Everyone, seeing this, resumed their mindless chatter, and the house was once more filled with the buzzing sounds of many people talking.  
  
Kristy was throwing a party, and /all/ the cool people had been invited (excluding, of course, Frodo and Tea, who had more-or-less invited themselves.). The guests, thus far, included: Frodo, Pippin, Legolas, Boromir, Avril Lavigne, Enrique Iglesius, Tyrel, Alyia, and the Subway mascot. Upon the arrival of the Yu-Gi-Oh! clan meant that Yugi, Yami, Joey, Tristen, Tea, Mai, Seto Kaiba, and, the sexiest member of the bunch.... Ryou Bakura!  
  
"Ahem," Kristy said, walking in from the kitchen. She was wearing an apron and carrying a tray of the most disgusting-looking chocolate chip cookies anyone had ever seen. She walked into the living room and placed the cookies on the coffee table, smiling broadly. "Would everyone like to introduce themselves?" Everyone looked at their feet, hoping that they wouldn't have to stand up in front of everyone else. "Darling brother Frodo," Kristy said through gritted teeth. "Would you like to begin?"  
  
Frodo's big blue eyes were darting around nervously. "My name is Frodo, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm very happy to be here today and I am not ashamed of my issue. I plan to become sober within one month of this meeting and-" Frodo was cut off rather harshly when he was hit upside the head with a frying pan.  
  
"Evil Dumbass," Kristy muttered. "This is /not/ you're AA meeting!" she said sternly. Frodo was unable to answer due to being unconscious.  
  
"Pippin! Would you like to go next?" she asked, politely.  
  
Pippin withdrew his hand from a box on the table, his face smeared with chocolate. "Uh... Nargsh blargh shnepnin-glurg pshrum?" he said through a mouthful of candy and chocolates. Kristy blinked twice.  
  
"Um, thank-you, Pippin. Now, Legolas, would you mind telling us all who you are and... um, stuff?" Legolas stood up.  
  
"My name is Legolas Greenleaf," he said confidently. Every female in the room whistled loudly and clapped. Legolas smiled and bowed slightly. "I am an elf... from Mirkwood," he continued. This second phrase was met by even more cheering and whistling. His voice dropped very low. "I am very sexy," he continued looking everyone in the eye. Once again, the room was filled with cheering. "In fact...." he sad, one hand on his belt. "I'm...too sexy for my shirt... too sexy for my shirt, so sexy, it hurts!" He began to sing, stripping off his shirt and tossing it over his shoulder. This was preceeded by several guests gang-beating Legolas and him being gagged and bound  
  
"Well, now that that's over..." Enrique said. His mole appeared to have grown since anyone had last seen it, and now took up a good-sized portion of his face. Anyone who had ever seen his face in wholeness would agree that this was an improvement. "I am Enrique, and I can be your hero, baby!" Enrique was then mauled by truckloads of button-sized pebbled being thrown at him by the neighbors as his shrill, feminine voice cut through the air of the otherwise peaceful street.  
  
Boromir then picked up a pebble between his thumb and index finger, holding it near his face. He snorted loudly, and everyone jumped at the sound. "It is a gift, this pebble!" he exclaimed. "Why shouldn't we use it for ourselves?"  
  
"Now, now, Boromir," Kristy chided. "Calm down now. Remember, not /everything/ is a gift!" She said, attempting to take the pebble from him. Boromir struggled and ran over to the broken window, shouting outside.  
  
"Remember! THE EYE IS EVER-WATCHING!" he shrieked, soon followed by: "ArrrGUH-Ouch! DAMN ORCS!" and a splat from him hitting the pavement below.  
  
  
  
"Uh, oh" Kristy said, dashing over to the window. Boromir had been struck through by an arrow. She turned and looked around the room, slowly, narrowing her eyes at each person.  
  
"There's an arrow sticking out of his back," she said slowly. "And one of YOU did it!" she yelled, pointing into the room. There were several loud gasps, and each guest looked at every other one suspiciously. "And none of you are going to leave until I find out who it was!"  
  
  
  
Hmm, who could it have been? Review and tell me who YOU think commited the crime! 


	2. Legolas versus Lavigne

Struck with fear, Tea began to run circles around the room, screaming at the top of her lungs. "AAHHHH!! HELP ME! HELP ME! They've killed Boromir and now they're out to kill MeeeeEEEEeeeeeEEEEeeeeEEEE!!! It's a conspiracy! A CONSPIRACY! I must go and hide before-" THONK! Tea slumped to the ground after being hit upside the head with the frying pan. Kristy smirked. Then Avril stepped forward, donning her usual manly outfit: baggy jeans that look about 10 years old, a really tight shirt with some sort of offensive word silkscreened to the front of it, a tie, and about 50 lbs of makeup.  
  
"Pshh, she just had to go and make things so complicated, didn't she?" Avril quoted, shaking her head. Legolas scoffed.  
  
"Shut up, you manly bitch," he said under his breath. He had somehow managed to release himself of his bonds and was now standing with everyone else. Avril turned to him.  
  
"Well I'm more of a man than you'll ever be!" she retorted. Legolas snorted.  
  
"Just because I have long blonde hair and walk around in tights doesn't make me unmanly!" he replied.  
  
"Yes it does!" Avril said. She pulled a skateboard out of her baggy jeans and hopped on it. "Well I can do a boneless 360 kickflip into a double 540 ollie!" she said, attempting a fancy trick on her board.  
  
The room filled with a simoutaneous: "Ooooh, Ahhhh!" Upon the punk star's landing.  
  
"Pshh, I could do that if I really wanted to," Legolas said, folding his arms. "I just don't feel like it right now."  
  
"Uhuh, I'd like to see you try!" Avril challenged, tossing him the board. Legolas caught it and threw it to the ground. He then proceeded to do several difficult skating tricks and tossed it back to Avril when he was finished.  
  
"Ooooh, Ahhhh!" filled the room once more. Avril shifted her weight from her left to her right leg.  
  
"Oh, look. It's Sk8er Elf!" no one laughed at her pathetic attempt to make fun of everyone's favorite LOTR hottie. "Ahem."  
  
"Let's see if you can shoot an arrow half decently," Legolas said quietly, aiming for the Subway Mascot once more. The mascot was still. Legolas let his arrow go. This time, one of the tomatoes ended up pinned to the wall. The elf grinned confidently.  
  
"Let me see that," Avril scoffed, grabbing the bow from Legolas. She pulled one of his arrows out of the quiver and took aim, then let fly. She managed to pin the mascot between his large canvas eyes. "Oops."  
  
Kristy glared at the singer, then took the mascot's pulse. "He's dead," she announced. She flipped him over, and noticed something else: a daggar sticking out of his back. "But I don't think it was Ms. Lavigne's doing." A gasp went around the room.  
  
"The murderer has struck again," Yugi whispered.  
  
Kristy nodded. Suddenly, she leaped up and ran toward the front door, shaking the handle fiercely. "Dammit!" she said, banging her fist on the door. "This always happens."  
  
"What always happens?" Tristan asked, clutching his ass, which was still in a cast.  
  
"We're locked in this house with a psychotic killer."  
  
There was no reply. Everyone's head turned upon hearing the back door squeak open. Kristy rushed over. "Hey, what's going on?" a female voice inquired. It was Kristy's friend, Kendra. Without answering, Kristy ran over and tried the back door. It was also locked.  
  
"Dammit!" She yelled, then uttered a few worse curses.  
  
"What's going on?" Kendra asked innocently.  
  
"One of us is a psychotic killer. Boromir and the Subway mascot are already dead." Pippin explained.  
  
"Aw, that sucks," Kendra said.  
  
"Yeah. It does." 


End file.
